7.21

i know i havent got the time to blog lately...yea final exam and some minor and major things that happened....well everything was ok..i didnt mess up math paper eventho i thought i would..and..i think i've messed up chemistry paper..big time..when i thought i can do the exam well..obviously not..4 credit hours..and i just took it easy...by not being able to answer all of the questions?and not seriously study for the subject..well fuck dat...i dont care..wuts done is done..i got 1 more paper on wed..and i'll be coming home on thurs..and i had to be back on 20/11 for some loan matters..and i'll be away for three days for hiking shit,meaning i'll be back to perlis on 24...i'm glad that i had something to do for the break..plus,i wish i dont have to be free at all...so mummy daddy,bros,i'll see u guys soon.. those bags and boxes are killing me...gtg.

god,forgive me.

mak abah abg ely,sowy bout what i've said..i just felt like i have to stop keeping the thing bout quitting micet from u guys...this is not where i belong...i just cant deal with all of those calculation shit...i hate math...just hate it...its time for me to make my own decision for my own good...my future is just foggy kt micet nih...im watching my roomates struggle for the exams..doing revisions,exercises and stuff...and i ask myself,why the hell cant i b like them...truth is,i have lost my interest..i feel like,ahh hell with the exam..just answer what i can,and get out from here..honestly,i just dont care bout the damn thing anymore...all i know is quitting..i want to do sumtin dat i want,dat i like...my passion is not here...my parents...all they know is i am capable of doing everything in my life...i cant do what i dont like ma...sorry bout the argument we had last nite...there are too many things that they dont know bout me...what i've been through...please gimme a chance to make my own decisions...im a grown up girl...i just cant imagine myself here in 2or 3 years ahead....

and my room mates keep on telling me to study...i wanted to but i just cant....its ok la gurls...just do whatever ur doing...just ignore me...i dont have future here..so no need for me 2 struggle for something that i dont want....jeles jugak tgk u guys dok study...bkk buku 2 buku ni...solving questions together....sharing the probs...but its ok.....just leave me like this....my mind is all messed up....its not that i dont want to study..seriously i do..

sorry girls..........

and now im watching this last year final exam paper...it seems easy....but i dont know what's gonna come out tomorrow..ma..sorry.....sorry sgt....

actually my carry marks for the subject is killin me...mmg kompem if i continue to study here,i have to repeat the subject...buang masa...style study kt sni lain...fullmark for carry mark is 60..the final is only 40....bygkn i already messed up all of the quizzes,test...cmna nk pass....seriously..im wasting my time....i just knew it all along....b4 i msok micet...its not my choice...i just came here bcoz my daddy told me so...i tried to fit in...but i failed...dont just blame me by saying im not struggling and trying....i already did....im sorry mak,abah......sorryy


whatever it is,im going to explain everything asap..im sick of crying.