i want cuti

its 5.30am...urghh 1 more week to final...and..im not 100% ready....i got math test on wed,chemistry test on thurs,and engineering graphic on friday....damn...1st paper for the final exam is math ouhh...gilaaa....i tot im not going to see math or even hear "math" after spm...huu sdey...but..wat camna..wuwu....so...my bro siap pesan lg..hui exam dh dkat,jgn main byk....damn he knows dat main2 thing...ok bro,ur da one yg teach me to play games,like..alot...so i blame u...haihh..yana focus focus!!!do the freakin exams,finish em all fast,then ur out of micet ferr guwwdd!!!yahhh!yahh!mummy daddy am wait ferrr mehhhhh!!hoho!

so....yay im going to see my fwens yg tercayanggg lg terkaseh nnti!hahah terkasih..exist ka?huhu...yeahh my f to the 3 star king english asgment dg siap!rasa2 mcm dh xdak dh other than dat one...hmm...kot...huhu...btw naim..awww i just luuvvv dat smiling blog of urs...awww adorable sgt2!!huuu....thx2 muchoo2 times!

to zayef,ain,don,ammar,naim,dikwan...c u guys in perlis ssssoooooooooooooonnnnn!
mwah2!!luv u guyss mucho2!

overniteeeeeeeeee

i am a big,huge,super,massive,fan of high school musical!yea i know its...umm...lame for some people..but i love hsm!and guess what...i went out to watch hsm3 laz night..and i must say its a total disapointment!!!!!raarrrrrr!hsm1 and 2 are even better!wuts up with the sket2 nk nyanyi..damn....agak2 laaa nk nyanyi pown...ni x...its like,duhhh better be a concert or what not.dont call it a movie.dont.tooo muchhh singing thing....too little drama..huhu...gimme back my rm9!haihh...sooo...afta watching the movie,me,amy and abg din went back to micet la...they were like "yana hsm xbest pown...bosan gilaaa..." arghhh i know it is!but not the 1st and 2nd one....huuuu......dang dang....tros moody...arghh..so....got back to micet and another daangg!oh i missed my match!!!!my f to the 4star -ing match!shoot...it was already 5 minutes till fulltime...wtf...draw?!against everton??draw???1-1?arghh shiettttttttt.....cursing here and there...its just a friggin everton la manu!why....huuu..so...lepak2..then mail and edy a.k.a kong(i'll tell u guys why we called him dat name later) munculll....haha tros "yana apa cita manu draw beb!dgn geng cikai pown draw..apa cerr" diam la dol..now i'm starting to use dol dh...zarif ar nih!! haihh...i was like " weh ni apa ni twun cafe pown pkai smart2..apa kesss" they were like " nk kuar arr...mcm retard ja dok lam blk dri pg td..." they want to go out but they dont have the car..brilliant!so without wasting any shiet,i mean time i called all the khidmat kreta sewa la..dang....smua abes!fuk!and i just,dh la u guys,aku blah dlu la..lepak blk....so..went back to my room...play gtar hero again...suddenly......................"weh yana!dpt keta dh!" apa lg...overnight weh!so....p amek keta,and hellyeahhhh all 5 of us kluar d malam hari yg msih muda..hahah soo went to watch muvi again,just 1 muvi left tp dh start bout 10minutes cmtu...so kasi tgk jala...bangkok dangerous sumpah best gilaaa!!!!and diz dude,mail...isk..he kept on saying "fuh awek thai cun2.....pasni aku nk p thailand p cari awek.." over and over again..

.......................

mail...get a life...we're watching that freakin muvi..shut da hell up....haihh.....ohh yeahh..there's a guy in the muvi,named kong...mail laa yg tetiba,"weh edy,muka ang mcm kong ah!" so we started to call him kong la bcoz of that muka sama thing..hahahha so abes muvi..perot mula memanggil,we all mula mencari..hahaha decided t0 eat seafood..hellyeah its 3 in the freakin morning and we went to the freakin beach hunting for foooooddd!!!!hahhahhhhahha! driving and rowling and lauging and bla3....another dang!!!!!arghhh tanjung bidara tutup!!!!wut da freaking hell!fukk dh la tgh lapaq.......urghhhh.......so...find another freakin beach...failed lg...and then we went to pntai puteri,arghhh heavennn!kedai makannnn!!at a freakin 4 am!hahaha....so i ordered nsk putih wif kailan ikan msin and tomyam...dayummmm sumpah sedap to da max!mail and edy asek wat lawak bodoh yg mmg bodohh gila....haih..we're eating la dol...eatinggggg..but yea i had fun.hahaha thx clowns!aahhaha

afta eating session we all p lepak pantai plak...depan kdai 2 ja pown..huhu....so...took out twisties and coke and soya and junkfood yg laen...lepak...best...angin pntai sjukk...huuu edy gave me his sweaters...aww...thx.....so alot of talking and joking and merapu2 and snapping pics...sleepy sudaaa....me,amy,khai kasi tdor tros..haha...tggal la those 2 clowns....bodo laa owg nk nap sat dok wat lwk bodo yg mmg sgt bodo...mana tahann..so we took off at 6.45 cmtu...no more lwk2 from those two...suma tidur sudahh...haha sleepyy ouhh....so...7.30 cmtu we all smpai...yanaaaa ur bed is calling!!!!coming2!!hahha bum!fell asleep till 5.30 in the frekin evening!fuhhh penat but i had lots of funnn!thx guys!some of the pics dat i managed to snap..haha budak2 ni buas sgt...haihh..





from left: mail,khai,edy







yannu and edy...comey kot..haha







eddie reza..yezzaaa...aww he's cute isnt he?







amyra syakira and ismail faris







mail ckp ni posing model suar dalam..hahaha







haihh....gmbr xjd..haihh







khai and edy..eh kong..







yannu the sleeping beauty,edy the prince charming,khai???xsnonoh bdk ni tdo tenganga!

weekend!!

i read an article about dating stuff....i wasnt looking for any of those dating or love or wutever related to it...bkk2 yahoo tetiba ada plak psal bnda2 cmni...yea curiosity..so i cekout jala...here's sumtin dat caught my eyes...

"If a guy tells you that he's not ready for a relationship, take his word for it. Believe it or not, men really hate to disappoint women. So if he's "gotten up the guts to actually cross the threshold and tell you that he's not ready for a relationship, he means business," says Oikle. There could be a variety of explanations for his antirelationship position (he has commitment issues, he wants to meet other people, he doesn't see you as girlfriend material), but in the end, the result is the same: He's doesn't desire to be your boyfriend. End of story."

i was like...wtf..............
ok..what am i suppose to do...




i just got back from lepak2...actually td me and amy cooked sumting...umm kurma ayam,sardin and telur..so we decided to go to cafe instead of makan just berdua ja dlm blk....yg len balik umah...so....ajak my classmates..mail,edy and khai to join us.....mkn ramai2..best....but i wasnt really in a good mood..aka moody...and yea i just diam...mkn..diam...ckp cket..diam...and they were like..yana napa ni muka ketat ja...diam smacam ja...bkn slalu ang ka plg hingaq..hahaha....so i was like...nothing....went silent lg...and they kept asking me the same question..ish syg la kwn2 aku ni kt aku..haha...so....mls moody2...join the club la...hoho mcm2 bnda we all discuss...from study to schooldays to hostels to gals vs boys thing..haha then they ask me bout me being moody td...so i told them laaa wuts been buggin me..yeah i feel alot more better....and bla3...lepak dkt 4 hours...and finally got back to my room..sbb xtahan sjuk glaa...angin bukit..phm2 la.hahaa....so....i left my phone b4 i went out to mkn td....i just know even if i bring along the phone pown nothings gonna happen....so..i just left it on da bed....msa blk...bajet mcm smpai2 nk tgk la phone ada msg or whatnot.....haih..nothing at all..no msgs,no calls....ok whatever...i dont wanna waste my time thinking bout stuff i dont want to...damnnn...final is on da way....nak tgk hsm3.....damn....i should spend my weekend doing sumtin exciting...or else..oh...pls...study2....T_T dont go out..study...haha hell...study is not my thing..well not until final lah..haha hmm where shud i go eh tomorrow?hmmm......suggestion??

haihhh...

yea..i read your blog...im out of words already...i wanna b dat guitar..damn..i just...i just dont know what to say...i wont stop...yea i just said i did...but i wont...its too early to say no to u...too friggin early...i'll wait...just like u did...be your bestie or whatever....i dont wanna wake up,feelin empty everyday..its ok...text me...i'll b good..i'll be fine...pls text me..

trivia

hey guysss!its saturday...woke up at 2pm!and i just stay in my room...watching muvie...and now i dont know wut 2 do dah......haihh...so...how bout kta wat quiz cket?ahahaha okok lets!

Who among your friends know the real you?
my closest ones..ain,zayef,don


When was the last time you went out?
ummm....last week??


If you could kiss anyone who would it be?
him


What song are you listening to?
crush- david archuleta


who does it reminds you of?
him ;)


Last movie you watched?
im not single..haha


What is your favorite shirt?
many2


What did you do yesterday?
gempita raya!!


Do you wear contacts or glasses?
nope i dont


Do you trust your friends?
yes my closest ones


What annoys you?
umm....ntah..alot


Do you want multiple piercing?
dont want

Your favorite song in your player?
too many..;)


Last time you went to the mall?
last week kot..cant rmember


What was the last thing you ate?
nasik lemak!!sedap2


Which of your friends would make the best room mate?
bestie..ain,don,zayef,jum dok 1 room?haha


Last thing you bought for someone?
body shop fragrance for men..white musk


Do people ever spell your name wrongly?
couple of times...


What's the last compliment you received?
heyy nice voice!! xD


When was it?
last night at gempita raya


What's next on your wishlist?
always be "god,please lemme be with him"


Which performer's concert would you want to watch?
rihanna!!


What color are your nails?
colurless..haha


Date down a special day for you?
18 march ;)

In just one word, describe yourself.
irresistable?


fully describe yourself.
i like to be happy like all da time. i like suprises ALOT!


LAST GAME U ENJOYED PLAYING
guitar hero 3 babyy...


LAST TIME U HAD YOUR HAIRCUT
4 or 5 months ago


DO YOU LIKE LONG OR SHORT?
long!


LAST BOOK YOU READ
i dont read book..haha


LAST THING U DO BEFORE U GO TO SLEEP
text zayef bubu


LAST TIME U CRIED
cant recall


PRESENT PERSON U HATE
ada la makhluk tuhan tu


PRESENT CRUSH
dont have


LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO EARLIER
kak fatin..my roomate


WHO MADE YOU CRY
zarif ismail


WHO MADE YOU SMILE
zarif ismail


WHO SAID I LOVE U TO U
zarif ismail


WHOM U HAD A FIGHT WITH
zarif ismail


HOWS YOUR LOVE LIFE?
i dont know...

gempita aidilfitri

wahhh!! bloggy i mishhh yewwww!!!! i got lots of story to tell...but erm imma pick one laa...not in da mood to type the whole thing..hahha so i just got back from malam gempita aidilfitri in my college!sangat besttt!!!bestt gilaarrr seriyaaasss!!!!hahaha the students mmg mlaram abes abesan la td...everybody with their own styleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesss yg mmg styleeeeeeee...sowi bubu cyg..hehe...so i got to do the hari raya singing thing and hellyeahhh i did it!!represent klab kbudayaan n muzik...hehe i sang lgu sloka hari raya and im yours..and thank god laaa everything went well...fuhh....i was like haihh dh la sound system hall mcm sayal....burok gilaa...takot owg xdngar suara plak..but thank godd!mic best!huhu....hellyeahh im rocking the mic la msa 2...haha best part is when pple puji u nyayi sdap la kan..hehe thanks guys..im flattered..huuu....and the best best part, ada band kt micet ni..nama band "abang sayang zaiton" ahhhahhaa sumpah nama catchy!hahha and band my classmates....they were rockin tha stage!!!kasi mix lgu raya mmg best gilaaaaa... congrats padi,am,edy and not to forget abg pugy sbg vocalist yg menten pndek lg cute...hehe.. and my another classmate,am yg join grup nasyid kt sni..sedap weeyhhh nyanyi!!harmonizing sumpah superb!kasi gangstarz satooooo!haaha and seniors pown ckp diz year's raya celebration tha best!hopefuly next year lg best!hoho!so the band,the kbudayaan,the tarian zapin,kuda kepang and stuff and the makanan!!makanan sedaaaaaaaaaappppppp!! satay n kuah kcg terbaekkkkkkk!huu.... so bla3 abeh....ohhh not yet!!lepas abeh...brlansunglah sesi berfoto berpoyo!haha yeaa happy timess...final da dkt..ahahhaa so dats all..thx 2 zayef yg wish gud luck juz b4 i started to sing..i was like dalin!i dh nk dkt nyanyi ni!!he said " gudluck deary!rock the mic!" hahha...dat "im yours" song that i sang 2 i dedicate 2 u la msa nyanyi..ahaxs!and umm.......yay!ahad ni ada english day!and battle of the band!zayef hewwwyeahhh 1 time!

11.06

i was having engineering graphic class in d evening..and i got to do lab in d morning too...classes on a freakin friday..so e.g class went like normal till suddenly i got a message from don.."yana call jap?" class almost ended.dh rsa xsdap ati dah..cuz mcm jarang lak for him to ask me to call him..so as a good friend i replied him with a call..so i was right.. he was crying. that was my 1st time dengar don nanges..he was crying so hard..painfull..don,sorry bout this..i hope u dont mind...so i was agak tkejut...i asked him what happened..first thing that came out from his mouth is "am".



its ok for u to cry don...just cry as hard as u want...i will always be there for u...and just tell me whenever u need me ok...yea i know how does it feel to be u...so dont worry.



he told me everything..every single thing..i felt sorry for him..and i cant help myself to cry at the same time...i was about to cry.but i know,he needed my help..i have to calm him down..i hold the tears..and i told him to stop crying.but then i just knew that telling people to stop crying wont do any good..so i let him cried..and after a couple of minutes he stopped..and he shared his problems.

he said,he wanted to change..i said,dont.

but yes don,we're losing our sanity.

i went back to my hostel alone...i need to be alone..i started to relate his situation with mine..and i lied about having fever.im not sick. i just need to be alone.at least for today. im sick of expectations. sick of feeling down all the time. i need to change the way i am too..so i said to don,yes lets change for the better.



i still love you.i need u. but....i know u dont care bout me too much. and im not giving up..i wont give up.but things are not going to change if im the only one who's trying. u dont think about the differences between us do u? i malas nk ckp..malas nk ungkit2..malas nk bising2.but have u ever think bout u dgn i dlu and u dgn i now? we dont have commitments dlu..we were free..and leh kata ari2 jmpk..and not to forget the messaging thing. 24-7 dok msg..2 situation u dlu dgn i..yes u did suffer.but have i ever leave u even for a second?xkn?and u said u were trying?then think bout being in my shoes! do we get to see each others slalu?do i get to text u like all the time??no!bcoz we both have commitments!



"u,i've been doin a lot of thinking and again,i admit its my fault.i've been so carried away sampai lupa diri and nak divide time i..sumpah i pikir blk then i realize it was totally all me..i know i dont deserve your apology but please forgive me..i want us to be like we used to..im sorry.."



i kept this message.



mmg i ada ckp "sng u ckp"..yes. mmg! at least by having the chance to talk with the one u love everyday can ease the pain that you're going thru..and i dont even stand a chance to do so! and now you're telling me to be strong...strong huh..i know zarif ismail is strong.but not me..and stop buying and giving me things!u make me think that you're giving me chances when i know you're not!stop being so nice to me.dont treat me like im special!

i hate myself.

blabla

skarang ni,everyday i wake up, i feel like xsmangat gila..gilaa laaa im still in raya mood...sumpah byk class cancelled..even yg xcancelled pown aku xpi..hahaha urm lets see....general chemistry,mandarin,urmm....well ada la lg...dh la final dh dkt,study???ceyyyhh kirimsalammmmm....since bwk laptop keja men gem ja...yeaa i play guitar hero bebehh... ;)
and my room mates pown mcm ehh yana xdak class ka???i was like, ohh cancelled...padahal xpown..hahaha well wutever..talking bout my final..i will be sitting for the final on 3rd of nov till 13 kot...damn got lots of paper...6 kot...chem,mandarin,p.islam,math,engineering graphic n computing...arhhhh...wtf...

last nite i had english class..sumpah boring...and to put it even sempoi,my english lecturer mcm xrti english sgt..is dgn are pown xrti guna..wtf...sempoi dak???haha i was like yea wutever,just end diz quick...and yea we got sambutan raya here on next friday...so i will be singing..again...umm dh raya lgu raya la kan...so haihh i bought this kbaya nyonya but jaraaaanggg gilazz..xbrani nk pkai..stgi jd tumpuan para manusia plak.hahahaha...
soooooooooooooooooooo what else??ummm....i read don's blog just now...uihhh very inspirational...ahaha don i mishh u daling....bla kta nak declare couple??we've been hiding bout it 4 song long oredy...i think its time to let them know....umm...dontchu think??haha

haaaiiihhh....

i had a talk with a friend laz nite...he's been the one yg oweys listen to my bebelness and mrapuness and luahan hatiness...

"babe,i feel like giving up"

"c'mon,not now?think about what i've said.stick to it.."

"he didnt care too much"

"just keep on trying"

u know...i dont want to say this but...i think i had too. you're being unfair..i dont know how should i explain the reasons.. maybe later...urghh....headache...

i know u might think ur not..but wutever everyone got their own reasons.

btw, im checking paula deanda's song,doing too much.
signing out~

caught in the middle

ok..after having some chat with him...well i thought i would feel better after telling him what and how i feel..but i ended up to feel even worst...maybe its too early to say no to trying..so i wont say it at least for now..i hope i wont give up..eventho sometimes i feel like i wanted to...what if i end up to be like him...sick of trying and give up..and then feel nothing...but i know im not like that...i know im not that strong...but at least im trying my best...its funny tho...once u pray for it,then dapat,u dont want it plak...haha..maybe its true...God wants me to experience d exact situation...yea i dont mind...but im not sure if i am strong enuff to handle it...coz...i tend to give up easily...

hmm...

im just confused...and there are things that i cant just tell him straight...its like,i cant even open my mouth when it comes to something that i think might hurt his feelings...and i feel sgt kejam..for treating him dat way dlu...i wont forgive myself for that..and why laa cant u just tell me dlu...sumpah im so sorry...and see what i just did...i let everything out....everything...dont u ever suffer anything by urself....u know i wont forgive myself for making u cry...i wont..stop hiding your feelings...it will be a burden...just like u said...and im doing the right thing for letting it out...

raya break is over...im glad that i met u....and having the chance to see u even for 2 days only...i feel happy..sangat sangat happy...thank you for the beautiful gift...eventho i thought it meant something at first...hahaha that is sooo typical yana....treat me differently,buy me a gift,make me a card then i would say ohhh he is up to something..typical typical...but things are more clearer now.....i get it...

and i've been wondering if we can stay like this when you and me are back to college...i mean,if we get to do the things that we use to do when we are here...and not being able to do that when we are apart..im just too worried of losing you again..goshh..i'll be the happiest gal alive when i hear you say u love me again...put an end to all of these...or maybe im just aiming too high..maybe..

ahh...im tired...cant think straight....i dont know where all of those thoughts have gone...i am short of what to say already...maybe i should stop.

not much

"if i ada,i'll let u know"

arghhhhhhhh dont say dat ayat to me.....i feel like dying everytime u said dat...i wont ask anymore.i wont give a shit.