enuff

okkai i managed to get home early..luck was on my side...i bought the last, 1 and only ticket to perlis..fuh..so i am currently at home..yea my friends are here too..i was so freakin happy when i was on my way here...yala spa xsronok leh blk awai,but then,i dont feel excited like i did b4..i feel like..tah la.........fwens,why cant you guys just at least, if you had plans or something,tell me la.....eventho those plans dont suit me ka apa....ni i text u guys,xrply la apa la...especially u zarif.im so sick of u treating me like i dont mean anything to you...and don also..and irwan and everybody! you guys might think this is nothing but i dont! ckop la i dont feel like i have friends in mlaka,but dont make me think i dont have friends here either!i just dont understand guys!i tried my best to get here early. bla jd cmni u guys make me think twice..bek blk ari ahad lg sng..maw kwn2 pown layan xlayan..i know i dont get to see you guys slalu...its like,you guys dok wat hal u guys,tggai i sowg2 kt sni..xtaw apa2 pown....i pown ada kt sni!argh!!!i dont feel like i care anymore!!!i dont wanna care bout you zarif!you guys know i mrajuk..but u guys wat xtaw ja..thanks to ammar..he's the only one who's trying.he knows how does it feels 2 be in my shoes.how could you guys......bnda ni mmg nmpk kecik tp it hurts me alot.thank you

Crazynesssss

nak blk perlis awaiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!wuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa xci la mmbe2 suma dh blk..isk...life is so unfair!isk...but 1 thing fo sure,i am sooooooooooooooo out of this fukin place.hahaha mummy daddy im coming home!!!! haihh buhsan la plak.....damn la class dok kna cancel abeh...kot nk gtaw awai2...isk isk...ada ka plak esok ngn lusa xdak class...sgt best...isk my mum called just now..i was komplen nk blk raya awal..she was like 2laaa bli sgt awai2...then dok ckp2 i said, alaaaa bekpilaa raya ja powwwwnnnnnn!!!n she was like,ha,raya raya...teasing me..wuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa mumy sgt kijammmm!!wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu pstu dia ckp ish esok suma blk nih....wuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa lg kijammmm...wuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... don dh smpai,zayef too,ain on friday,argh!!!! why laaaa life has to be so kijammm....im so stupid laaa xbli tket awal2....huaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa nyesal nyesal nyesaallll!!!

f.u.c.k

I feel stupid for acting like myself. No I don’t have to fake anything. I don’t have to be someone else to be with someone! I don’t have to change the way I am just to fit in, pretend to like something that I don’t like, deal with something that I don’t deal with! What I’m trying to do is live my own life, my way! I just don’t understand how the fuck people judge others here. How the fuck they live, how the fuck they socialize! I just don’t understand it… fuck you people. I’m trying to be me… but you people just know how to judge people, without even knowing what and who they are!! So what? If I like to socialize a lot, I like making friends a lot, I like communicating with others, speak out my mind, so what about it?? Are those kind of things make me a bitch, let you guys think I use to be a bitch?? Shitting about others, spreading rumors and stuff. dats y la ssh nk fit in dengan cara org kt sini hidop. Tah apa jenis mentality tah. Macam barua ja… tengok ja org yg jenis suka tegor org, huhahuha, dok ramah dgn orang tu orang ni, so prangai otomatik gedik la kn??mcam setan la kan??? Pangai betina la kan?? Bajet orang yg mulut diam, malu2, baik ni malaikat la??? yg jnis dok bsing sna sni mulut jht?? Dok burukkan nama orang, kata belakang, backstabbing, dok bawak mulut and everything yg slek will be pointed at me?? Bagusnya mentality orang kt sini.. bagus!! I hate to be here. i do like a million times!!! And stop pretending like you care about my fucking feeling!!! Stop fucking pretending like you like being friends with me!!! Huh, talking about living with bunch of assholes here. Yea I do give a fuck once, but not anymore. I will quit. No more backstabbers!!! Is it a sin to be nice with people?? Is it a sin just to fit in??? is it a fucking sin just to be myself??? Well trust me, I don’t fucking think so. talam dua muka ja suma... dpn ckp len, blkg kutuk...lagi best bleh plak ajak kroni2 kutuk trang tang2...i saw everything but wat xtaw ja...thanks alot my room mate..thanks alot.sumpah dh fed up dok kt sni..evrything is like ada kna mengena with me..its like im da one who caused those fucking problems!!! and yeahh in the end, aku la jd mangsa. yang baek n kamceng nak mati with u guys xdak plak nk blaming trok2...fuck u. i started to feel annoyed. i dont know la apa yg my room mate ckp dgn those assholes. i hate everybody!!u and u and u and u suma bajet malaikat!I just wanna get out of this fucking place! Yea keep on pointing fingers at me you fucking assholes!! Keep on blaming those issues on me! Keep on being immature! I just don’t wanna give a fuck anymore. SO STOP FUCKING MESS WITH ME! FUCK OFF BACKSTABBERS AND HATERSS!!

yannu sana sini situ

hellyeah its the lastt week of puasa!!hahhaha!!yaa i know im d most paling lmbat blk raya..okkayy fine....u guys go ahead and have fun without me...isk isk....adess bwu bgn tidoq ni..haha i got 1 class only 4 2day!!suppose to b 2...1 in da mownin,1 in d evenin...but then class is cancelled..so horayyy!!!tidurrrr time!!hoho!!n i just woke up nihh...5.30 td...huhu and i p online...yea blogging of course!!and myspace too...then..i opened this someone's profile,then i read all of the comments...wuaaaaaaaaaaaaaa who da hell is she????jeng jeng jengggg.....i tried to call him but he didnt pick up...so i juz proceed with blogging....tetiba dia call...huuuu i asked him bout dat gal..n he said she's just a friend...and kept askin me why2...im jelez laa of course!!!haihhh.....tergugat rasa...seriassss....haha well i know im not someone special but yeahh i admit the jealousy...but haihh...u must be laughing at me kn....go ahead and laugh la....huuuu sometimes i feel like i dont stand a chance...but most of da time i feel like i do....so..i dunno...maybe its just me...or maybe its not.....

ohh raya!!!!cant wait to go back and meet my family and fwenss!!pkai bju raya!mkn kueh raya!!jmpk kwn2 raya!ahhhaha i called don just now..he said he's on his way blk perlis..i was like,WHAT!!!!!arghhh i envy youuuuuuuu!i still got classes on wed!wuuuu so he was like i cant wait to see my fwenss..awww i cant wait to see u too daling.....we will meet up lateer..soonnnn enuff!hohohok!then he said he wanted to see abg am...so i was like..okkayyy laaterrsss...hahahahhahaa wah its already 6.20!!gotta go mandi!!but eventho i dont mandi,i will oweys wangi....envy me zayef..envy me.....so i update the blog later aiteeeeeee!!
mwah mwah!!SLAMAT HARI RAYA!

math teth..test...

okkay..gud mownin my luvasssssssssss!!huu woke up at 4...study technical math la...damn diz place is crazy doin math test on a freakin sunday!!gila toi laaaa...sunday owg rehat nk p shopping la dol.....so i had to get up and stay up early..since i dun want to mess up my 2nd test...i already did on my 1st test..isk isk...sooo its almost 7am now...arghh i want to sleep but im not really dat sleepy...and i got exercises to do on polynomials sket...there will be questions about matrices,polynomial and graphical method simultaneous equation..wuuu simple eh??xdee maknenyeeeeeee...hahaha okok i hope i can do all la....study td cam ok ja leh jwb suma..huhu....en.zaihar,pls dont make it hard pls...

erm...im gonna go study sket lg...so i'll update the blog later aiteeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
zayef i missshh u!!

haha T_T

reCAP

hellyeahhhh im back with a plastic bag!!wuaaahhhhhhhh lama suda xblogging!got loaaaaaaaddddddsss of story to tell..i got story to tell...no zayef,not your story to tell one....okok well lets hit it! i got here,in micet on erm....err wait lemme check the calendar ... ouhh september the 6th!hahaha i hate to be here.....i wanna quit....and go somewhere else..uhhuuu sooooo the 1st week of 2nd sem was okkayy... i got back my test results...hahahahah dun wanna tell u guys da result la...1st week...lame lame lame....same old same old... oh yeahh!! i was working freakin hard on my essay assignment! it suppose to be done during my midsem break but hellnawh! cuti is 4 cuti! no assignments and what not! hahaha!! i was sooo lack of sleeping laz week...its all bcoz of the essay la....actually its not really an essay...but erm i dunno what to call it...huhu so i had to do a 5 pages essay about stress in everyday life....dang thank god the topic was easehhhh.. ;)
i managed to finish till the 3rd page...3 pages full...it was already wednesday and i have to submit the essay on wed!!!i was like damn how am i suppose to finish it on time!!huhuu.....i skip math class that day!!mummy daddy 4give me!!i got excuses!huuu....sooo pulun laa buat essay 2....but i couldnt finish it jugak.....so i was like...lantak ahhh jmpak lecturer then explain..hahaha so i did....and..and the lecturer said last kna submit is next weeek!!!arghhhhhhhhhhh!ponat jo den buek sumo..wuuu so....dat was pretty much of the 1st week laa....

oh oh!! then i was lepaking wif my fwen at cafe..then i met rayson...a chinese dude la...he was like "yana,i want you to sing on my tanglung festival" i was like???tanglung??haaaaa???ehh bleh2!!hahha wut song?? then he said english malay la...i told him i lagu malay ni kureng bleh la..ceyyy..hahhaaha so.. bla bla bla... he agreed, i agreed..then he said he want to do para para sakura dancing...me n amy were like, waaaaaaaaaa nk join nk join!!!!!!fuhh excited wa ckp sma luu....uwuwuwu..so...we practice all night till 2 3 am...damn xckop tido sudaaa.... and rayson here, is the 1st chinese dude yg organize event about chinese culture at MICET...since we only have 4 or 5 chinese here..haaahaha malay rulesssss!!!haha so we had the event,but i was kinda dissapointed la...yalaa since its the 1st chinese event,mcm xdak org nk support plak....there were only like 10 of ajk only buat suma 2...mana larat..aiyokk....wutever la....lepas suda...

and now the 2nd week of 2nd sem....huhuuu.... i got a ,majlis brbuka puasa with family angkat this saturday..20 sep...yay im going to see my fam angkat again!!hoho! oh yea not forgeting the quizes and test la......everyday i got one...wuuuu...so...sonok sonok gak..still ada gak yg saket ati.... but wutever...kita enjoy suda..haahha oh laz nite i got a message from i dunno who....he was like "hey jo here! this october got battle of the band, i want you to sing evenescence- bring me to life. can ah???" hahaha i was like...yea sure!!but errr joe???i dunno u....then he was like but what??i was like...haihh mamat ni xphm ka aku xknai dia..wuuuu...then i said yea i wud love to but i duno you....joe mana ni?? then he stopped replying...wuuuu...yea wutever...i guess la...he went to that tanglung fest kot...and see me nyanyi..but i dunno whooo...aiyoo joeeeee......haa zayef, im goin to be a rawkstar too baby...hahahhhaaa! nooooooo not shock...nooooooooooo

and erm i cant wait to go back 4 hari raya!!!!wuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! ain,zayef,don,ammar,naim,irwan!!! mishh u guysss!!di kesempatan ini saya ingin mengucapkan selamat hari raya aidilfitri, maaf zahir batin to all muslim and muslimah all over the world! zayeffffffffffff i want to say sorry for what i did, the sakit hati,the sedey,the gadoh,the mrajuk and apa2 jala....sorrayy aite babeee?? and i luvvvvvvvvvvvv youuuuuuuu everyday!huhu and ain my precioussssss wifey bestie halfie...haha sowi to u toooo eventho kta happy2 xpnah gadoh2...awwww dats why i love u so much...heee... sory if slh ckp or mrh or apa2...bestie remains bestie forever!!don my dawlinnnnnnnn!!!uhhuuu u oweys be my pak lawak...actually i couldnt stop smiling and laughing whenever i see u..hahahaha and stop messin with my pipi!i mean it! i missh u don...my hero, my zero..haha i know sumtimes i can be rude and over reacting..but u oweys take it easy kan??and not frgetting the pujuk2..hehe i cyg u baaaaanyaaaaaaaaakkk don...hhihik! ammarrrrrrrrrr my ex-bf..can i say dat ah??ahahhaa ceritera lama...so so so... i wish u gud luck in wutever decisions u take ok!shiannn dia dok sowang2 kt perlis..ahaxs! we will meet so0o0onnnnn....naim and irwan...haihh lama suda xjmpk nih....cant wait to see u guys tooo! sorry for slh and silap ok!! ;)
and again, SELAMAT HARI RAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! luv u my precious onessssss!!mwah mwah mwahh!

it ends tonight...wuu

damn...cuti smnggu dh nk abeh!wuaaaaaaaa im going back to mlaka tonight...i wish i can stay longer here....haihhh...so...im gonna mish my fwens here..those boys n gals at matrik arau..huhuuu we will meet again soon..haihhh emo...xmaw blk!!xmaw!!huuuu btw,i just finished making nasik krabu or nasik ulam...we oweys had nsk krabu during puasa every single year..its like a must have fuuudd...hoho!argh its gonna b a long long journey tonight..i hate being so damn far from home ok...but wut to do,belajar adalah satu kwajipan dan tggungjawab bg seorg pelajar..huuuuu ayat skema suda..back to micet,back to hostel..isk..fyi,i just realized that micet is such a boring place with such a boring life...and not to forget those boring faces..haihh it is totally true,micet IS a place 2 study..ONLY.hahaha sosial level?below degree celcius..haha no la..its erm..okay its quite low...thats more appropriate....u know i ni jnis yg mmg ska bersosial..how can i possibly sosialize in such condition?huuuu yea those people keep on telling me to study,get great pointer yea 3.5 and above for the first sem..dont need to tell me that..i know laa people..haihh erm..im sleepy oredy..ouhhhhhhh so sleepy....so i just blah la...nak kemas2 brang2 nk bwk blk micet lg nih...so..laterssssssssss hatersssssssssss n likerrssssssssssss.. ;)

memory lane

i cant sleep...i cant think straight...im havin an emotional breakdown....it all started with ym...i was chatting with my classmates...yea..killin times....since i got nothing else to do other than chatting n surfing the web..aka on9..yea wutever...tgh rancak2 bercerita,then a story bout rap thing came out...so i was like hey,i got friends who are sooo into rapping..they have a group too!so blabla there goes the intro...so i introduced triniti to my friend here..he's into rapping too..well he said he used too..so i was like y dont u just check em out..dopeness man!i told him bout my fwens alot...yea i love telling people about me,about my fwens...who they are,what they do,where they at...stuff like dat...so....i opened the amp site..i gave the url to my fwen,failure,i gave him myspace url...so..he managed to open it..so eager about the feedback,he was like,sorry im not into rap mlayu sgt..i was like,hello!!they do rap in english ok...wut song did u hear?he said perliscollective..then i was like..ouuuuhhhhhhhhh yeahhhh haha that 1....i explained...so he said boley tahan..i was like say whatt!u dont mess with my fwens ok...go check out their english..gosh...readers digest pown kalah kowt...i said to him...haha..n yeah i was bragging here n there....by the time i just knew that i was gettin too carried away talking bout them...i stopped while listening to all the songs on amp..i rmember about this 1 video..i watched the video again...a video that i've forgotten 4 quite a time...yea don,zarif...a video about u guys with naim...i just cant stop playing it...over and over again..i smiled,laughed,haha the triniti,the i run solo,the religion,the i'll murder u man,dont mess wit me...damn..i miss all of those things....i told my fwen,this is us back in 2006,2007...when we were young..highschool..not hopeless...ok ok...things were so different when we were young...damn..i started to feel like crying now...especially when i keep on playing their songs till now...im soo proud of u guys..hmm..i just..i miss my friends..the past..the time we spent sooo much together...hmphh look at us...we are all grown up now..taking our own path...being soo far away from each other...seriously,i cant stop thinkin about u guys...i cant stop laughing while watching the vid,cant stop talking about us to my friend here...he was like,r u ok?i was like,no...n i wonder...do they feel the same like i do?friendship is precious...my closest ones...yea im talking bout ain,zarif,don,ammar, not to forget naim n irwan..guys,i really miss u all..i always do..i just love to hear a good feedback about triniti..its not because of who they are,its because of what they are...friends...good friend love to hear good things about good friends...n now im smiling...those faces of my loved ones..i need to remember all of them till my last breath..i feel lucky to have u guys..and that is y i oweys love music..cuz music bring us together...make us as ONE.seeing those faces again...all i wanna say is,i really really miss u guys..hope to see u guys soon.ok yana hold those tears...dear God,thx for blessin me with those people..i know deep inside they will oweys think about each other..just rmember the past,it is what we are now..

take care my precious ones..jgn lupa ur roots.and erm...i love u guys.from the bottom of my heart.

thursday

i dont feel like blogging anymore.....but wutever...i dont care if you're reading this shit or wutever....cuz it is sooo wutever....yea so,WUTEVER...

im listening to when you look me in the eyes right now...my favourite..lama suda xdengar akan lagu ini...haha im starting to like jonas brothers now...i mean, its not that i dont like them b4..no...they're are sooo adorable...huhu i mean im not really a fan but i just like their music..they're talented,obviously..ok....i like them...they ARE cute so what?huu

but then....trasa 1 mcm prasaan...haih...tros kasi stop itu lagu...u know,whenever ur feelinn that "feelin" when u r sooo not wanna feel that feelin, just do whatever to stop da feel from takin over ur feeeling and ur feeling it..hahaha apa aku mrapu nih...

haih...i start to feel like im the only,believe me...i am the one n only person who are trying to put things back to normal!i always end up trying so damn hard for something, but in d end,i got nothing!nothing,zero,nothing at all...look at u....u dont have to try...u dont have to lose anything...and look at me...i've lost everything..everything about us..and when i'm trying to fix things,i can only see 1 person who's dying to work things out...tah la....im not talking about getting back ur love or whatsoever,im just...ok if you're talking about friends and not being able to show how good u r as a friend,to act like a friend,then stop being friend with me!and no,we are not friends,we are good friends..but wut happen to good friends if im the only one who always doing my part as a friend?!a good friend!am i just wasting my time here or what?does it worth it to take care of someone who doesnt really care about u just as much as u care bout him?geez..i am wasting my time..but what the hell am i suppos to do?! God gave me this gift...yea i know,i always be the one who will always,always think about others...i dont care if they dont..coz im gifted with that...damn i gotta stop...but just please...think about how others feel will u?treat them like how u want them 2 treat u...same goes with me....just...text me...i am soo over u!u dont have to worry bout that..just text me.treat me like a good friend....just text me.

FreakiN

im outta words.

damn.

hmm...

okkayyyy u r soooo dead zarif!!!!!!!soooooooo freakin dead!!

FULLSTOP!

oh...it is sooo not a fullstop....bila bca blik dok wat lam bi ni cam slek plak....dok slh sna sni...cam hampeh jaaaa....lecehhhh....lama tinggai skolah,now bla blajaq blk jd xreti bi plak dh...sumpah ouh even bila speaking dgn lecturer pown leh plak tesasul wat simple mistake.....hadoi....ni ka bdk a1 bi?hahaha so to my LOYAL pembaca yg dok jd omputeh 2,ku pohon 1000 kemaafan diatas kesalahan berbahasa inggeris yg timbul.hahaha asa cam bdk2 plak...dok merangkak blk blajaq english...padahai dlu kt skolah kemain lg dok bi bi....wuuuuuuu xpa2, bdk bru blajar...i learning inggeris not so good talk.hahahaha

WHATEVER!

haiyak!